Our journey thus far...

As many of you may know, Jason and I have been trying to start a family for more than 2 years. It has been heartbreaking and emotional. I have seen doctor after doctor, and still have not received the result we are so desperately seeking. We started ttc (trying to conceive) in March 2009. Little did I know that it wasn't as easy as just having sex!! I soon found out there was alot more that goes into getting pregnant. And when I actually started learning EVERYTHING it takes, it makes you wonder how there are ever 'accidental' pregnancies. I started by taking my temperature every morning. And since I'm up on work days at 0445, that was the time my temp was to be taken EVERYDAY. So I did. And at the end of the month I made pretty little charts showing my temp changes and analyzing it. After a few months of this, the doctor decided that I wasn't ovulating. And for anyone that doesn't know, this is the process by which an egg is released to be fertilized....yes the very first step in conceiving!! And my body was missing it altogether! So I started on Clomid (ovulation inducing medication). I just knew it was going to work....NOPE. For 5 months I diligently took those little white pills and my poor husband dealt with the mood swings and hot flashes that came with it, and still no BFP (big fat positive). The clomid did its job...I was ovulating, but still something was missing. So we moved on. I got an appt with a reproductive endocrinologist (fancy word for fertility specialist) and just knew this was the answer to our prayers. The only RE that takes my insurance is located at Emory Hospital in Atlanta...a short 45 mile drive!! Oh well...if that's what it takes, I thought. So we went (actually my brother's girlfriend Jessica went with me to my first appt which made for some funny looks in an office where they do 'non-conventional' reproduction...lol.) The first step was bloodwork and tests to see if there was anything underlying. And of course Jason's 'sample' had to be analyzed. Everything came back normal except my thyroid levels and of course that I have PCOS. So they changed my thyroid meds (I was originally dx with hypothyroid in 2002), and sent me home with more Clomid. The difference was now they would be tracking my ovulation through ultrasounds. So again, I took the pills, and now I would go on day 3 and day 12 of my cycle to have ultrasounds done. I'm pretty sure that office has an agreement with the parking deck to make me come as much as possible and pay their $5 parking charge every time!! Well it never failed...at the day 3 ultrasound I would have lots of little eggies just waiting, then by day 12 I would have 1 or 2...maybe 3 that were ready to go! I would be sent on my way with a strict prescription of 'have as much sex as possible.' This went on for a few months....and still nothing. My RE gave me a diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility.' What the heck is that?!? You're a DR!! You explain things!! How can it just be 'unexplained?!' We moved on and tried another medication called Femara. It is actually used as treatment in breast cancer patients, but for whatever reason it induces ovulation...good enough. 3 more months of that...and ultrasounds...and those dang parking fees....and NOTHING! We decided in November to move on to IUI (intrauterine insemination). December would be our 1st try...but again my body decided differently. I ended up in the hospital with MRSA right in the middle of when we were supposed to be getting artificially knocked up! We decided in January (2011 now) to get a 2nd opinion about our 'unexplained infertility.' We went to GA Reproductive Specialists for a free consult, as Emory is the only palce that takes my insurance. We walked out of there feeling hopeless and that we would never have a child of our own. We have looked into adoption...and initially decided that we would adopt before we paid too much more on this whole ttc thing that apparently wasn't for us. For anyone who has known me for any period of time, you know that I don't take being told 'no' very well. It has always been that if someone tells me I can't, I will try 5x as hard to prove to them that I can. I never thought that baby making would be any different. 2 years later...unfortunately I am rethinking. I have gone through many days of just saying F*@! it, and being done. The meds, the doctors, the disappointment...it all takes a toll. Thankfully Jason is super supportive and doesn't get all emotional like I do, and if I need to break down, he just gets out of the way! So here we are in April 2011...a little over 2 years since we started this journey...and we're still just 'trying.' We have been told by my RE at Emory that IVF will be our best option at this point. We have looked into it and we need $11,000 (donations are being accepted...lol). In ttc terms, we are taking a break at this moment and losing weight and getting healthy to see if it helps. I would hate to think that I spent $11,000 to get pregnant and all I needed was to lose 20 lbs!! I've lost 30 so far and the scale can only go down from here. We will be jumping back on the ttc train in May so hopefully there will be +++ updates in the future!

About Me...and Mine

Isn't that why you're here?? To talk about me...yay! I am 27 years old and work as a 911 dispatcher in Cobb County. I have been there for over 4 years and I LOVE it. Like any job, it has its days, but for the most part I love being involved there. I have been a trainer for a little over a year now and I'm also part of the education team and the tactical dispatch team. I have been married for almost 4 years and couldn't ask for a better husband. Jason is 33 and works as a Waffle House manager. While he is not as enthusiastic about his job as I am mine...it pays the bills until something better comes along. We bought our house in Canton 3 years ago and have had a blast making it our home. We have 2 furbabies that are our world. Munson is a 3 year old English Bulldog and Lila is a 3 year old Rhodesian Ridgeback. I also have a Rat Terrier named Creed, but as of late my mom has adopted him. We just acquired 2 unnamed turtles on our last vacation, and I have a betta named Mack. We have been trying to start a family for a little over 2 years and I promise (good or bad) there will be plenty of posts about our baby making journey. For now, we are living the dream one day at a time!!

the beginning...

I have always heard about people that 'blog.' What the heck is that?!? I decided to jump on the band wagon and get one of these of my own. I guess in the modern day era of facebook and twitter...people care (or at least act like they care) about what is going on in MY life. I can't say that it will all be pretty, but I can say somedays you will laugh and others you may cry right along with me. Feel free to give me your feedback whether you think I want it or not. I'm pretty open to what others have for me! Enjoy!